Ten Thoughts to Ponder for 2008

Number 10
Life is sexually transmitted.


Number 9
Good health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die.


Number 8
Men have two emotions:

Hungry and Horny. If you see him without an erection, make him a sandwich.


Number 7
Give a person a fish and you feed them for a day,

teach a person to use the internet

and they won't bother you for weeks.


Number 6
Some people are like a Slinky ...

Not really good for anything, but you still can't help but smile

when you shove them down the stairs.


Number 5
Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday,

lying in hospitals dying of nothing.


Number 4
All of us could take a lesson from the weather.

It pays no attention to Criticism.


Number 3
Why does a slight tax increase cost you $200.00

and a substantial tax cut saves you $30.00?


Number 2
In the 60's, people took acid to make the world weird.

Now the world is Weird and people take Prozac to make it normal.

And The Number 1 Thought For 2008 :

We know exactly where one cow with Mad-cow-disease is located among millions and millions
of cows in America but we haven't got a clue as to where millions of illegal immigrants
and terrorists are located. Maybe we should put the Department of Agriculture in charge
of Immigration?